


She's A Forest Fire

by ailaikclarke



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Background Bughead, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, Choni endgame, F/F, Kevin and Cheryl friendship, choni
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-05-13 10:43:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14747333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailaikclarke/pseuds/ailaikclarke
Summary: She fell asleep not long after those text messages, sitting up on the bed, with her book still in hand. Toni had found her like that many times before, but it still amused her. The thing about that night was that Toni never got to find her.Because Cheryl was awoken at three in the morning by her phone buzzing on the nightstand and a familiar voice:“There was an accident.”ORI'm a crazy masochist and apparently I do not think that Cheryl's been through enough already.





	1. Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> I love them so much.

Everyday life was painfully boring for Cheryl.

Nothing happened anymore, making her days awfully dull.

She was not feeling numb because of the drama that had suddenly stopped, no, she was grateful for that. She wa sgrateful of finally being free. She was feeling numb because life was boring and nothing seemed to interest her anymore.

She had to admit that drama was what hurt her for most of her life, but what kept her alive as well.

She was a drama vampire, and needed drama just like regular vampires need blood. It was hard for her to admit that nothing happening made her feel bored, she felt like it meant that she wasn't capable of being happy.

Her life was great.

She was living with Nana Rose and Toni in Thistlehouse, attending her senior year of High School, spending her days between books and nights at the White Wyrm.

She was happy, but bored.

“Cher, baby, what’s on your mind?”

“I’m feeling exceptionally tired today.” Cheryl lied. “I think I’m going to go straight to bed after dinner.”

“I can stay with you, if you want.” Toni said, visibly preoccupied.

“No, darling, I’m fine.” Cheryl smiled. “You go ahead and try not to drink too many beers.”

“Who, me?” Toni smirked. “I never do.”

Cheryl shook her head. “Of course, chérie, of course.”

Toni offered to wash the dishes, knowing well enough that it was the worst house chore for Cheryl. She let her girlfriend relax in the conservatory while she finished cleaning up and then went to kiss her goodbye before leaving for the White Wyrm.

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to stay?”

Cheryl pursued her lips. “Positive. Now go, have fun.”

“I’ll try to be quiet when I get back.”

“Like when I was sick and couldn’t come to Fangs’ birthday party?” Cheryl asked. “When you made so much noise I thought an intruder had broken in?”

“The image of you with your bow pointed at my head will hunt me tonight, making sure I keep quiet.”

“I’m sure it will.”

And, with a final kiss, Toni was off to the White Wyrm.

Cheryl picked up a new book from the library and walked to their bedroom. Her phone buzzed a few moments after she had changed into her nightgown.

 **Darling [8.11]** I forgot to mention  
**Darling [8.11]** I love you  
**Cher      [8.12]** I love you too.

She smiled at her phone and sat down on the bed, the duvet only covering her legs, with the rest of her body exposed to the cool night breeze that came from the open window. She fell asleep not long after those text messages, sitting up on the bed, with her book still in hand. Toni had found her like that many times before, but it still amused her.

The thing about that night was thatToni never got to find her like that.

Because Cheryl was awoken at three in the morning by her phone buzzing on the nightstand and a familiar voice:

“There was an accident.”

 

_They took you away on a table, I pace back and forth as you lay still. I pull you in to feel your heartbeat, can you hear me screaming, "please don't leave me"?_

_Hold on, I still want you._

_Come back, I still need you._  
_Let me take your hand, I'll make it right. I swear to love you all my life._  
_Hold on, I still need you_


	2. Stay With Me

Cheryl bolted to her feet, sending the book flying to the wall. “What accident?”

“We drank too much, Cheryl. We drank too much.”

Cheryl tried hard not to panic. This wasn’t happening. “Where’s Toni?”

“They’re taking them to the hospital, I called as soon as I could.”

She hung up before replying, running downstairs and grabbing her car keys on her way out. She was driving to the hospital before she could even think about it.

The air breezing through her hair made her shiver, but nothing seemed to matter. The tears scrolling down her face felt warm against her cold skin, her hands were shaking as she held the steering wheel.

She parked the car in the hospital parking lot and ran inside, finding Betty and Jughead waiting for her.

They looked terrified.

“What happened?” She asked, wiping away the tears from her cheeks. “Is she okay? Is she _alive_?”

“She’s alive.” Betty said.

And Cheryl breathed.

“We were playing drinking games, Betty and I passed out and Fangs, Sweet Pea and Toni went on playing some weird game they were obsessed with. I woke up and they were gone, they’d gone driving because they were hungry and didn’t want to wake us up.”

Cheryl felt fire boiling in her blood. “They went driving?!”

Betty nodded. “Of course they thought they weren’t as drunk as they actually were.”

“How…” Cheryl hesitated. “How did you find them?”

“We panicked and went looking for them. They had thankfully taken Betty’s car instead of driving their motorcycles.”

“How bad was it?” Cheryl asked, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“It was bad.” Jughead said. There was no point in denying it. “Fangs and Toni had both lost consciousness, while Sweet Pea was trapped in the car.”

Cheryl closed her eyes. “Goddammit, Toni.” She took a deep breath. “Goddammit, goddammit, goddammit.”

Hours passed before a doctor came to see them. By the time they were actually talking to one, it was almost six in the morning. Two different doctors had already come to talk to them about both Fangs and Sweet Pea, and Cheryl was starting to get anxious.

For the first time since Betty’s call, Cheryl checked her phone. She found about twenty texts from Toni and took a deep breath before opening their chat.

 

 

 **Darling [09.01]** Apparently we’re playing drinking games  
**Darling [09.01]** Let’s hope I won’t make too much noise when I get back  
**Darling [09.01]** R u already asleep? LOL  
**Darling [10.27]** not drunk yet  
**Darling [10.28]** k maybe a bit  
**Darling [10.30]** i’m drunk yep yep  
**Darling [10.30]** dont hate me bby   
**Darling [10.59]** her’s a picture off jughed youll love it  
**Darling [00.08]** i love u cherly blossom   
**Darling [00.35]** i’m su hungry help   
**Darling [01.07]** sweet pea wants to fithg me   
**Darling [01.12]** update sweet pea is on the floor i won  
**Darling [01.41]** look bety and jugheed sleepign   
**Darling [02.04** ] yaaas food pops her we come  


The bags under Cheryl’s make-up free eyes were dark and deep, complimented by the redness of her eyes. Tears never stopped streaming down her face as she whispered curses to nobody in particular.

“Relatives of Toni Topaz?”

“I’m her girlfriend.” The doctor looked at her and Cheryl could tell that he was feeling reluctant about talking to her.

“Cheryl _Blossom_.” She said, emphasising her last name.

“Ah, yes, of course.” The doctor replied. “So, Toni was sitting on the passenger’s seat, right where the car hit the tree, so her conditions were critical when she got here. She had a few fractures on the lower part of her body and suffered internal injuries. We managed to stop the internal bleeding in surgery, but we are quite worried about the brain bleed she suffered.”

Cheryl felt like her world was crumbling to pieces. “What does that mean?”

“It means that she’s physically going to recover, but we can’t yet predict what her mental state is going to be.” He said, looking hesitant. “When and if she wakes up.”

Cheryl felt like her legs were going to give in and not support her anymore. Luckily, both Betty and Jughead were nearby and ran to support her. “ _If_ she wakes up?”

“Yes. At this stage, we can’t determine the severity of the brain bleed. We can only wait. A nurse will come and get you when you can see her.” He nodded at her before leaving.

Betty and Jughead dragged her to the chairs in the waiting area and she collapsed the moment they left her. “I told her I was tired. I went to bed instead of coming to the White Wyrm and I asked her to be _quiet_.”

“Cheryl, she’ll be fine.”

“You can’t know that.” Cheryl replied, her voice trembling. “I was so busy being the nosy bitch I am that I didn’t even take those few hours to go out with my girlfriend and now she’s here.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Jughead whispered.

“I haven’t even seen her today at school, I only got to see her at dinner and then I let her go.” Cheryl said. “She said she wasn’t going to drink too much and I wasn’t even worried. I am so used to the calm that the past months have been that I didn’t even think that something might happen.”

“Nobody imagined it would happen.”

“I was warm in our bed while she was bleeding in the car after hitting a fucking tree! I can’t believe this!” Her voice changed drastically, making both Betty and Jughead shiver. She went from whispering and tears streaming down her face to screaming and sobbing at the same time.

Betty wrapped her arms around her, trying to calm her down. “It’ll be okay.”

“She might never wake up again." Cheryl breathed hard. "What if she never opens her eyes again?"

_Why am I so emotional? No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control. And deep down I know this never works, but you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt?  
Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're all I need._


	3. Grow Old With Me

The walk to the ICU felt endless.

She felt like she was walking through a nightmare, with no escape.

She could hear the beeping sounds of various machines, she could smell the antiseptic and she could see all those loved ones taking care of patients. It was six thirty in the morning, and the hospital was already crowded.

The ICU was silent.

It was different from the departments she’d seen while walking to get to Toni. It felt more sterile, whiter, calmer.

The nurse took her to where Toni was and, the moment she saw her, Cheryl felt like she was going to pass out.

Toni was laying on the bed, motionless, with way too many tubes sticking out of her, way too many machines connected to her and way too pale to be her.

Cheryl sat down next to her and grabbed her hand to hold. “I’m here, and I’m not leaving you.”

Toni’s hand felt cold and Cheryl desperately wanted to open her eyes and wake up from that terrible nightmare she was living.

The beeping sound was deafening, but she tried to remember that it meant that Toni was alive and that she could, potentially, wake up.

The breathing tube down Toni’s throat made her feel sick but, again, she reminded herself that it helped Toni survive.

“This feels wrong, chérie.” She said. “I wish we could go back to last night. I wish I was in bed, sleeping, waiting for you. I wish you came back last night, making all the noise you wanted to make, waking me up and making me mad at you.”

She tried hard not to cry, but she felt helpless. “The doctor told me you might never wake up, but I believe in you, Toni. I’ll be here, every step of the way. I am not leaving you, not today, not ever.”

The first day was the longest.

Cheryl’s wake-up call had arrived at three a.m, when Betty called.

By the time she got to Toni’s room, she had already drank three coffees.

By lunch-time, she thought her eyes were never going to stop producing tears.

She kept staring at Toni, unable to process what was going on.

It was wrong, on so many levels. It wasn’t fair, Toni didn’t deserve to suffer.

She deserved to be happy, and carefree.

She deserved to be loved, and pain-free.

She forced herself to go eat something when it reached three p.m. She found both Betty and Jughead at the cafeteria.

“How is she?” Betty asked.

“I thought it’d look like she’s sleeping.” Cheryl commented. “But it doesn’t. She’s a messy sleeper, always trying to get hold of the whole bed. And she can’t sleep on her back, she always sleeps on her stomach, so this looks nothing like sleep.”

That’s what they said in movies, right?

It looks like they’re sleeping.

But Toni didn’t look like she was sleeping. She didn’t look peaceful. She didn’t look well-rested.

She looked in pain.

She looked pale.

She looked broken.

She looked distressed.

She looked wrong.

Cheryl had often looked at Toni sleeping. Mostly because she was a morning person, while Toni enjoyed sleeping in. She would often wake up earlier than her girlfriend and walk downstairs to make them both breakfast, because she had grown fond of Toni’s sleepy smile whenever she saw pancakes were being served to her in bed.

Sleeping Toni looked nothing like coma Toni.

Jughead smiled at her. “I remember that picture we took of the two of you. You on one side all proper with your perfect hair and silk nightgown and… Toni, so tiny, and yet occupying like seventy percent of the bed, with her hair all messy and drooling all over the place.”

“I love that picture.” Cheryl whispered. “It’s so… Us.”

“Are you planning on going home?” Betty asked.

“No. I… I can’t. I don’t feel like I can leave her. Even coming here feels wrong.” Cheryl replied. “How are Fangs and Sweet Pea?”

“Fangs is still sleeping.” Betty commented. “Sweet Pea is devastated. He feels like it’s his fault.”

Cheryl remained silent.

_Grow old with me, let us share what we see, and oh the best it could be, just you and I. And our hands they might age, and our bodies will change, but we'll still be the same as we are. We'll still sing our song, when our hair ain't so blonde. And our children have sung, we were right, they'll sing: grow old with me._


	4. I Believe in Us

“I feel sick when I leave you, Toni.” Cheryl whispered one morning.

Two full weeks had passed since the accident.

She had agreed to go home on day three, to take a shower and eat some proper food. She refused to sleep at Thistlehouse, stating she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Toni for that long. She was well aware that visitors were not allowed to be in the ICU for that long, she had seen most of the other people leaving and being allowed in the ICU for only about three hours a day, one in the morning, one in the afternoon and one at night.

For once, being a Blossom had its perks.

She had a routine.

To avoid getting crazy, she forced herself to go back home every other day, to take a shower and bring some new clothes to the hospital. Every day she took at least twenty minutes to go outside and breathe some fresh air.

Those twenty minutes were the only moments when Toni was actually left alone. Because when Cheryl went home to shower, she asked someone to come and look after Toni. She didn’t want her to be alone.

She spent most of her time either reading or talking to Toni. She would often read out loud, so that Toni could hear something different from the sadness filled monologues that Cheryl whispered at night.

Sweet Pea had come to visit a few times, and had become Cheryl’s favourite person for when she was gone.

“Cheryl, I need to talk to you.” He said one day. He looked hesitant, almost scared.

She looked up from the book she was reading. “What about?”

“Do… Do you blame me? Because I do.”

He was staring at her, his eyes unable to leave the girl’s curious brown orbs. He was feeling scared, almost as if Cheryl’s judgement could hurt him more than the actual truth.

“You know me, Sweet Pea.” Cheryl stated, her voice flat. “Do you really think I’d let you in here if I blamed you for the state she’s in?”

He looked down. “Betty told me I couldn’t come up here the first days because nobody was allowed and that only you could be here because you’re Cheryl Blossom. Was that true?”

Cheryl shook her head. “No, it wasn’t true.”

“I thought so.” He whispered. “I could have sworn I heard Jughead talking to Fangs about Toni’s conditions.”

“I wanted to scream. All the time.”

“I don’t blame you.” He commented.

Cheryl took a deep breath. “I think I did blame you at first. But now… I wish I could, but I don’t. I did at first, but simply because I needed to blame someone, you know? And it was so much easier.”

He nodded slightly. “What changed?”

“I realized it’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault, or it could be anyone’s fault. You were the one driving, yes, but you all made a mistake.” Cheryl said. “You were all drunk. Do not feel guilty.”

“I was driving.”

“You were. At first I wanted to punch you in the face, but what if FP had been there and stopped you? What if Jughead had been awake and drove the car? What if Toni had been the one passing out and staying at the White Wyrm? What if I had been there sober? What if Betty’s car wasn’t there?” Cheryl commented. “It’s not your fault. I know it’s not, Toni knows it’s not.”

“Sheriff Keller said they’re waiting for me to get better so that they can take me to the station.” He whispered. “They came a few times to interrogate me, and I already know how this is going to end.”

“I’ll do what I can to help.” Cheryl commented. “After all, I am a Blossom.”

“I don’t think I want to be helped.”

“Why not?” She asked, her head slightly tilted to the right.

“Because I think I won’t feel better as long as I don’t get a punishment.” He whispered. “I feel guilty.”

“They will put you in prison.” Cheryl stated, her voice calm. “But I can change that, you know I can.”

“Do you think it’s fair?” Sweet Pea asked. “Shouldn’t someone be punished for this?”

“You know me, Sweet Pea.” Cheryl commented. “You know how I react when someone I care about, someone I love, gets hurt.”

“I do.” He lowered his head. “I am sorry, Cheryl. Terribly sorry.”

“You know what’s weird?” She asked. “When I look at you, I do not see the reason why my girlfriend is laying in this hospital bed. I see someone who cares about her.”

“I do care about her, that’s why I should have never driven.”

“Let’s focus on Toni getting better.” Cheryl whispered. “Because… I can’t imagine a life without her.”

“She’ll be okay. I know she will. She’s strong.”

“Can you imagine a world without that smile? Or without that ridiculous pink hair? A world without her laughter? Or without those mesmerizing eyes?” Cheryl could feel her eyes swelling up with tears. “Because I can’t, and I won’t allow it.”

 _Cause I've been dreaming that you love me in the morning, love me when the morning comes. I've been dreaming that you love me when the fighting, love me when the fighting's done._  
Oh, my love, don´t cry, love.  
I believe in us.


	5. Say You Won't Let Go

Betty was always hesitant when she went to talk to Cheryl.

The red-head seemed to be permanently on edge, more than usual.

That morning, she had driven her car to the hospital, wanting to go visit Toni. The pink-haired girl had been in a coma for four weeks, and still gave no sign of waking up.

Betty walked into the hospital, hoping to find Cheryl in a good mood. She knew well enough that it was almost impossible, but she could always hope.

“Hey, how’s it going?” She said, once she walked inside Toni’s room.

Cheryl looked tired.

She spent every single awake moment next to Toni, except for the twenty minutes she forced herself to spend outside, and the hour and a half she used to go home and take a shower every other day. She had been spending the ninety percent of her time in the hospital, for four long weeks.

“Everything’s standing still.” Cheryl whispered.

She was still afraid that loud voices could somehow disturb her sleeping girlfriend.

“That’s good.” Betty replied, sitting down. “I brought you some stuff.”

Cheryl smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

People were bringing her food, clothes. Even water, knowing that she would often forget to drink and keep hydrated.

“Have you thought about going back to school?” Betty asked.

She heard Cheryl inhaling sharply. “I haven’t.”

Betty hesitated. “It’s been four weeks.”

“I can’t leave her.” Cheryl whispered. “You wouldn’t leave Jughead either.”

Betty nodded. “You’re right, but this might be a permanent situation.”

“It’s not.” Cheryl closed her eyes. “She moved her hand this morning.”

“It’s involuntary.” Betty said. “What are the doctors saying?”

Cheryl shook her head. “Does it matter?”

“It does.”

“I’m not going back to school, not yet.”

Betty opened her mouth to reply, but decided against it.

“I’m taking my twenty minutes.” Cheryl said after a while. “Are you staying?”

Betty nodded. “I’ll stay until you get back.”

Cheryl nodded before getting up and slowly walking outside. She lingered by the door a moment, and then closed it behind her back. She walked to the garden, watching patients walking freely around, taking breaths of fresh air.

She watched a young man pushing a girl’s wheelchair, and wondered if she was ever going to do that with Toni, or if that her destiny was to watch her slowly slipping away on that damned bed.

She sat by a tree, and took a few deep breaths. She sat there for five minutes before a boy about her age sat next to her.

“I saw you in the ICU.” He said.

She nodded, not sure if she remembered him. “I spend a lot of time there.”

“Me too.” He said, looking down. “My boyfriend was in an accident.”

Cheryl closed her eyes. “My girlfriend was in an accident, too.”

“I know.” He shrugged. “I mean, I figured.”

“I reckon having see-through rooms makes privacy disappear.”

He nodded, smiling weakly. “I guess so, yes. How long has she been here?”

“Four weeks.” She sighed. “Yours?”

“Fourteen days.” He replied. “Not as long.”

“Even a day can be long enough.” Cheryl whispered.

He nodded. “I’m Alex, by the way.”

“Cheryl.” She turned around to face him. “I need to go back now, are you coming?”

He nodded. “Yes, I need to go back to Matt.”

“A friend of mine is currently visiting Toni, but I’m sure she misses me.”

Together, they walked back to the ward, a sudden sadness washing over them. Cheryl realized that Alex did the same thing she used to do. The time in the garden felt like moving to a different universe, where their loved ones were safe and sound. Walking back to the ward was like going back to reality, when they were hurt and with an unsure future.

They reached the ICU, and Cheryl realized that Matt’s room was right next to Toni’s. She wondered how she’d managed not to see them. She realized she was too preoccupied with her girlfriend’s health to care about the people around them.

“Say hello to Toni for me.” Alex said, before walking to his boyfriend’s room.

“Tell Matt to be good.” Cheryl said, a sad smiling playing on her face.

She opened the door and walked back in Toni’s room. Betty was still there, talking to Toni as if she were awake.

“I met our neighbours.” Cheryl said as she sat back down. “Alex and Matt.”

Betty looked curious. “I didn’t take you for the neighbour kind.”

“I’m not.” Cheryl commented. “Alex approached me while I was in the garden, and I learned that his boyfriend is in the room next to this.”

 

_I met you in the dark, you lit me up. You made me feel as though I was enough. We danced the night away, we drank too much, I held your hair back whe you were throwing up._

_Then you smiled over your shoulder, for a minute, I was stone-cold sober, I pulled you closer to my chest and you asked me to stay over._   
_I said, I already told you, I think that you should get some rest. I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go. I know I needed you, but I never showed, but I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old._   
_Just say you won't let go_


End file.
